


and i'm there

by orangecrane



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst, Canon Era, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:41:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26470534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangecrane/pseuds/orangecrane
Summary: Race see's something at Sheepshead that kind of shakes the foundations of his world, but Spot's there for him to lean on.
Relationships: Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	and i'm there

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by racetrackmylove so thanks for the request and I hope it lives up to expectations and fits the prompt well enough! I'm always open to constructive criticism so please feel free if you have any. Uhh besides that thanks for reading!

Race was crying. That was the first thing that registered in Spot’s mind. Well, second thing. To be exact the first thing was ‘What the hell is Race doing at the Brooklyn lodging house at this hour?’ and the second was ‘Oh shit he’s crying’. Race was just standing there silently, tears running down his face and for once looking like the scrawny impoverished orphan boy he was, and Spot… he had no clue what he was supposed to do. Was there some kind of protocol for when your kinda sorta boyfriend shows up at your door in tears?

They stood there staring at each other for a minute, Spot frozen in the doorway and Race still just standing there, crying. Finally Spot broke from his confusion and asked, “What are you doing here Race?”

Race started fidgeting, cracked his knuckles, fiddled with his cigar and looked at his feet, but didn't respond. Oh man, Spot really didn’t want to do this, especially with how bad Race looked, but he couldn’t be too soft on him with an audience, too many people knowing about them would put them in danger and that would end poorly for everyone. “Either tell me why you’re here or get off my turf ‘hattan.”

Race glanced up and met Spot’s eyes just long enough to answer before looking back down, “Can- can I come in?”

Good, that was all that Spot needed to hear, “C’mon, we’ll talk in my room.” Spot led the other boy through the lodging house and up the stairs, pausing only to instruct Hotshot that they shouldn’t be disturbed, then carefully shut the door behind them. Race didn’t look up from the ground the entire time.

“Racer,” Spot began softly, “what’s wrong?”

Race sat on the edge of Spot’s bed, staring at the wall. He didn’t respond. Spot, not knowing how to proceed and not quite willing to push him yet, simply sat at his side. He wrapped an arm around the blonde’s shoulders and let the boy tuck his head into the crook of his neck as he tried to gather himself.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity but was probably closer to half an hour, Race spoke, “Do you think there are people on other planets just like us? Just going about their lives like they’re the only ones out there just like we are?”

“Race, tell me what’s wrong,” Spot tries to be gentle, but comes off a little more harsh than he intended. He knew Race was trying to avoid talking about whatever brought him here. Well Spot wasn’t going to waste his time beating around the bush, he wasn’t that kind of person. Race had only gotten away with it for this long because Spot was soft for him, no one else got this kind of treatment. Except maybe the Brooklyn littles, but that was a different situation.

“No, really, just think abo-”

Spot’s, admittedly limited, patience snapped. “Cut the crap, Higgins.”

“I saw my mom earlier today,” Race said in such a small voice. He curled into himself and Spot felt his throat tighten at the sight. He’d never seen Race look so vulnerable.

Spot knew that Race wasn’t in contact with his mother. But that was about all he knew, Race rarely spoke about his life before becoming a newsie and Spot hadn’t felt the need to press, someone else’s past wasn’t really his business. It was a stance he took with all of his newsies. He was starting to regret that decision at the moment, if only a little bit.

“I- Uhh… she was down at the races with… with my little sister, they was just passin' through.”

Well that was news to Spot. He still wasn’t sure why Racer was so upset, though. “I didn’t know you had a sister.” 

“Yeah, neither did I.”

The bitterness in his tone was impossible to hide. And oh. _Oh_. Spot repositioned himself so he could rub Race’s back. Race took a deep, shuddering breath before continuing, “Looked like she was about five years old.”

“Racer, talk to me. It sounds like there’s more to it than that.”

“It’s just that-” he paused, carefully choosing his words, “when I left home, it was because my ma wanted me gone. She wouldn’ta said it back then but it was true. She wasn’t married and we had no other family so she had to work to support us both. Havin’ a kid basically destroyed her prospects for finding a husband and for the most part I was too young to work. I was nothin’ but a burden to her. I couldn’t stand bein’ there knowin’ she didn’t want me.”

Ouch. Spot understood the feeling, being somewhere you clearly weren’t wanted hurt. A lot.

“So I left, and that eventually led me to becomin’ a newsie. But she has a family now, a husband and enough money to have another kid. So I guess… I guess I thought that she didn’t want me because I stopped her from having that, but now she does and she still doesn’t like me. It just hurt more than I thought it would, knowing that my own mother doesn’t want me, well cause I'm me, I guess.”

Race was crying properly, again. Head buried in Spot’s shirt, the blonde clutched at him as tight as he could, trying to calm his shaking.

“And I’m glad she’s got a family and is happy, she’s my mom. But- but if I'm not part- part of her family, then I just don't got one, do I?” Race’s anguish was palpable and Spot had no idea how to help, so he simply continued to hold and comfort him as best he could. “Guess it doesn’t matter all that much,” Race continued, “she didn’t even recognize me, not really. Or maybe she did and just pretended not to, honestly I’m not sure which one is worse.”

Those were the words that broke Spot’s heart. Seeing the boy he loved hurt so deeply, he would do just about anything to soothe him right now. 

“Hey pretty boy, you stupid or what? You got a family.” Spot gently cards his fingers through Race’s hair. “You got Jack n’ Albert and all a’ your Manhattan boys. N’ you also got me. You don’t need a ma to have a family and if she doesn’t see how great you are then it’s her loss. She’s gonna be the one who never gets to laugh at your stupid jokes or watch you become everything I know you can be.”

The corner of Race’s lips twitch up in the ghost of a smile, the happiest he’s been since Spot’s laid eyes on him today. And it’s right about that moment that Spot decides that he’s always going to be there for Race.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Race calming under his ministrations, until Spot broke the quiet atmosphere. He usually wasn’t one to indulge Race like this, that was Albert’s job, but he could make an exception. “What if they’re purple?”

“Huh?”

“The people living on the other planet, what if they’re exactly like us, but purple? Or what if they have two heads?”

Race giggled. And that’s what Spot was looking for. He grinned and tightened his grip around Race just the slightest bit.

“Well why would they be purple, that’s ridiculous Spot! But you may be onto something with the two heads bit.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!” Race launched into a long explanation of his theories about the lives of the not-quite-people on other planets. He was still a little shaky, eyes red, drying tear tracks down his cheeks, and clinging to Spot more closely than would be appropriate should someone manage to catch sight of them, but he was bouncing back. Race was strong like that. Spot smiled and leaned back, Race moving with him, and listened to his boyfriend ramble about the most pointless things, just being there with Race when he needed him most. Yeah, Spot thought, for Race, he would always be there.


End file.
